I Am A Man.

I am a man.
I am a father.

I am working hard to become a son.
I am an abused little boy.

I am living with anxiety and depression.
I am often uncomfortable in my own skin.

I am drawn to the dark.

I am sitting with my mother
and sister
and grandmother 
I am carrying their spirit in every breath.

I am in a mysterious dance with blood cancer.

I am in deep grief
I am in ecstatic gratitude

I am in pain. I am in love.

I am braver than I think, but I am often scared.
I am not always honest, or humble.

I am courting this stranger in me.

I am a brother to the living living 
and to the living dead.

I am an earth-keeper.
I am a story-weaver

I am a student first. 

I am a balloon flight,
a drunken night,
a car crash,
a bloody mess,
a shattered sunset,
a cloud of dust,

a bachelor of the year,
a famous face,
a one-night stand,
a moan too many.

The tip of a blade,
an angry shout,
the faintest cry from the deepest well.

I am a baby’s first words and a bone-rattling death throe.
I am the space between and the silence thereafter.

My soul answers to no other name than “pilgrim”. 

I am here now.
And I am ready.